Funny, I'm pretty sure I still don't want to crochet ANY of these things

Especially the poop.

I generally lack enthusiasm for amigurumi and this slideshow is a good illustration of why.  Neither useful nor beautiful in most instances.

Video-free technique tutorials

I always forget how exactly to do certain techniques and have to search for tutorials online.  Videos take too long to download and watch so I prefer picture/text based tutorials.  Some of my more frequent fliers:

Russian join - good way to attach new yarn in the middle of a row.  It has some disadvantages in that it creates a bit of a lump or thickened section in the area of the join and probably would not work well for joining two different colors.

SSK (slip, slip, knit) - creates a left-leaning decrease. Also on Knitty with a good summary of the other main increasing and decreasing techniques.

Twisted German cast-on (a.k.a., the Old Norwegian cast-on) - About as difficult as you might expect a Twisted German Something to be.  I went through about a dozen tutorials before I found one that worked for me.

Diagonal 'Granny Square' Baby Blanket

Design: A bias-stitched, or diagonal, large granny square, crocheted in two triangles from the corners up. (The picture is of one-quarter of the blanket, which is folded...I will update with better pictures once I can get them.)

Materials: Approximately 600 yds. of sport-weight yarn for main body of blanket; a smaller amount of yarn (maybe 50 yds.) for center seam and trim.  This example used two skeins of Bernat Softee Baby (Sport DK) in Flannel, with navy blue sport weight stash yarn. (The exact yarn is and will remain a mystery.)  Size H crochet hook.

Pattern: Row 1: Ch 4, dc x 3 in 4^th chain from hook, ch 3, turn

Row 2: 3 dc in 1^st dc, ch 1, 3 dc in 3^rd dc, tr in turning chain, ch 3, turn (2 shells)

Row 3: 3 dc in 1^st dc, ch 1, 3 dc in 3^rd dc, ch1, tr in turning chain, ch 3, turn (2 shells)

Row 4: 3 dc in 1^st dc, ch 1, 3 dc in 1^st ch-1 space, ch 1, 3 dc in last dc, ch 1, tr in turning chain, ch 3, turn

Row 5: 3 dc in 1^st dc, ch 1, 3 dc in 1^st ch-1 space, and in each ch-1 space across, ch 1, 3 dc in last dc, ch 1, tr in turning chain, ch 3, turn

Repeat row 5 until triangle is desired size (will be adding one 3-dc shell per row)

Make 2 triangles and attach across diagonal to make a square.

I needed 42 rows for each triangle to make a 30 x 30 blanket (after adding the border). 

To attach the two triangles, I used a single crochet join that makes a raised edge on one side (the 'right side'):

and a flat seam on the other:

I had to experiment a bit before I got the seam right.  Holding the right sides of the work together, I worked in only the two inner loops that were touching, like this:

Here is another view from the top showing that the single crochet is worked into the inner loops:

It also took me a while to pick a border stitch I liked -- almost as long as it took me to make the squares!  After many attempts at picots and a prolonged battle with the reverse single crochet stitch, I settled on one row of single crochet and one row of slip stitch to finish the edge:

This is the first pattern I have written so please let me know of errors or elements that are not clear...

Craft blog checklist

-Artfully styled photos of finished items. I will make no promises about the 'artfully styled' part, but I will have photos to share.

-Patterns. Also forthcoming. My current project is a bias-crochet granny square baby blanket with leaf trim - maybe that will be the first to appear?

-Philosophical musings about handicrafts. Unfortunately, I cannot promise to generate such gems as this: "We cleanse ourselves, we perform our ablutions; we purify and detoxify. In short, we take bathing to spiritual heights. For such a journey, shouldn't we equip ourselves properly? These scrubbers should do the trick, imbued, as they are, with the devotion inherent in the handmade." (WTF, Purl Bee? It is a SCRUBBER. What does that take, about 7 1/2 minutes to knit?) I may salt - or pepper - the pages with some curmudgeonly observations of my own about the fiber arts, grammar, and/or the human condition. Generally not all at once. We shall see.

-A catchy blog handle. Check. At least I like to think so. 

-Links to Pinterest and Ravelry. Another work in progress, for now.

Since I'm anticipating that this entry will have an audience of one for the time being (me), I can keep this as a builder's list of sorts until I have more materials for the page. But at least it is a start...